New research shows that most students opt to do literally nothing that may contribute to their academic success during student success week. With deadlines compounding deadlines and there always being something new to tackle, students collectively appear to treat success week as an excuse to laze around, sleep, and generally do nothing productive.

 
We here at Channel 0 News can’t relate as we love our jobs and constantly seek to work overtime despite already pulling a double totalling around 19 hours, but we tried our best to understand where the students are coming from. 

In light of these revelations, student success week will be known henceforth as do nothing and sleep week. If students are caught doing anything productive they will be punished.